Wednesday, October 3, 2012

blog#3 ESSAY (EARLY DRAFT)


 

                                      A Perfect World Not So Perfect

          Scientists always think they have the answers for everything. The movie Gattaca is a science fiction film. In the movie the world was presented as a dystopian world to me. If it was a utopian world they wouldn’t have discriminated against anyone everyone would be equal. They discriminated against your genes to identify where or which category they belong in an Invalid or valid. In a world of Dystopian things are completely unpleasant and in the Movie Gattacait is about a world that no longer discriminates against gender and Religion but on one’s genes. Genetic Engineering viewed in the movie as to be this“perfect society”, every human if they wanted to live in a world with a lot of new and improve technology like inGattaca they would more envision it to be perfect. It shouldn’t discriminate against anything gender, class, religion or even genes. In the movie Gattaca they wanted the world to be Utopic but they failed at because it is proven that technology doesn’t always work.

  A baby named Vincent Freeman. Vincent was born with a congenital heart condition. Vincent was separated from all the other children’s his age because he was considered an invalid.  Vincent is due to die by age 30. With help from a Geneticists Vincent parents went and had another baby.  This time they had a normal baby by the name of Anton. Anton is Vincent’s perfect brother taller and better at anything. Vincent and his brother always compete with each other to see who can swim the furthest in the ocean. Of course it would be Vincent brother Anton. But one day as they were swimming Anton couldn’t keep up with Vincent surprisingly, which made Vincent the winner that day. Ever since that day Vincent knew that he can do anything .Vincent dream is to travel into space because in space it wouldn’t matter about his condition. In the society he lives they analyze your DNA to determine where you belong in life.
What do you think about my title, and is my thesis statement strong enough( the first paragraph)?

1 comment:

  1. Stacy, I think your title is very good.
    Your thesis statement however is little confusing.
    I think it should be a little shorter first of all. You will have enough room in your paragraphs later on to explain your way of thinking.
    I also suggest to erase unimportant statements - lets say: Gattaca is a science fiction movie. It has not too much to do what you are writing about.
    Another thing I've seen that, you pay too much attention to the subject of discrimination. It appear 4 times in your thesis. However it's very important, there are so many different elements what describe a Dystopian world, it is not only about that. It's about suppressing individuality, being controlled, opposition not allowed, etc.
    I think you should just write it down shortly what do you think, how do you take side on the subject, giving a nice introduction to what you want to write in your paragraphs.

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